they compose music
screams like miasma
wild demand
she is grace
soft and white
his will
empty drunk pain
i observe in rigid harmony
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they compose music
screams like miasma
wild demand
she is grace
soft and white
his will
empty drunk pain
i observe in rigid harmony
Tags
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It’s incredible how you can put me in a wave of concert memories with a few well chosen words.
The line “empty drunk pain” really stood out to me. It’s such a great and unique way of describing that nervous, out-of-body experience that also makes you want to vomit when you are on stage, or getting ready to be on stage. Reminds me of my theater days. Bravo!
The juxtaposition between the mother and the father really highlights that complicated feeling of watching two parents fight. I appreciate your vulnerability and the ways in which you reflected what it feels like to be “an audience” at such a young age.
“I observe in rigid harmony” really stands out to me and makes me think about the experience of that young child. So well done and in such a few short lines!
This poem is perfect because it leaves you wanting to know more, yet it has expressed all it should. Painfully yet beautifully. Such a difficult balance and you nailed it. Brava!
Mikayla! I am not certain if I should hide my face behind the curtain or smoke a cigarette after reading this. In just a few words in a few lines, the sensuality and intimacy is evident (am I wrong?) as is your skill as a writer. Whew!
“wild demand,” band name!
Struck by “miasma” screamed. Miasma, a vapor, a scream throwing out miasma (still covid shy, don’t want to be nearby).
Still thinking over the paradoxical last line. Can harmony be rigid? Can rigidity be harmonious?
I cannot stop thinking about this poem (it made my mind go into so many different directions all at once). The line “i observe in rigid harmony” just kills me and I don’t even know why. I need to hear all about what inspired this moment–I am so intrigued!