The summer camp chapel service had just ended. It had been a sing-at-the-top-of-your-lungs while dancing-up-and-down to the thump-of-the-bass-and-the-drums and the wails of electric guitars, kind of church service. The sweaty horde of teenagers– and only slightly older youth leaders–began to disperse; no longer a crowd of pulsating starlings in murmuration, now turned into, perhaps, honey bees? Yes, bees: legs loaded with soul-fulls of joy-pollen to be taken back through the warm night air back to their unairconditioned bunk bedded cabins.
That is when I saw her. Friends since fourteen, that night seventeen. When school was in session we had alternately shared the roles of Class Clown and Straight Man to create joyful disruptions (though our teachers may have called us a test of their patience). Her long straight brown hair was slightly disheveled and still drenched at the roots with sweat from dancing. I noticed that her lazer-gaze was full of tears as she made a B-line to me; the knitted brow and the turned down corners of her mouth told me hers were not tears of joy. She took a worried glance behind her before she grasped my arm and whispered, “Can we talk?”
“Of course!”
We searched out a row of brown metal folding chairs in the least buzzing portion of the pavilion-made-sanctuary and sat down.
“What’s wrong?”
“Do you know Kyle?”
Know Kyle? Of course I knew Kyle; he had been my only waking thought for that whole year past. His pale blue eyes–gold-flecked near their center, his thick brown ringlets that I had fantasized immersing both of my hands in–all ten fingers wrapped deep…I imagined pulling his strong square jaw, his perfect teeth, his full lips straight to meet my lips… “Uhm, yeah, what’s up?”
Her voice quivered and ended in an almost squeak, “God really convicted my heart tonight.”
I totally got it; I mean, here we were in a church, and just hearing his name had set my heart pounding and my loins a-lusting. So I wrapped my arm around her in comradery and gave her a comforting and understanding smile, “It’s okay.” I patted her shoulder. I thought, maybe I should feel bad too? Lord knows I had almost died the other day when he Hello-hugged me and the scruff of his cheek had brushed mine. I had been so close to those lips…– I should have just gone for it!
Laura’s head dropped lower on her chest, and her tears began to freely flow down the sides of her face and fell onto her lap and mine, as she took a deep breath in and then blew it out slowly before letting out a whimpered, “we went too far… and I am going to tell him that I don’t want to do that anymore.”
Stab. Slice. Into my heart. My eyes went wide, and I was glad that her face was down, so she could not see them. The edges of my mouth twitched; my “comforting” smile panicked, barely hanging on. I didn’t even know that they had been dating! “That’s a good idea…if you’re not ready..”
“…but I’m afraid…”
“Afraid of what?”
“That he’ll get mad…that he’ll leave me.” Her tears turned to violent sobs, sobs that shook her whole body.
“Shhh, Shhh…” I wrapped both my arms around her shaking form, pulled her close, and rocked her in an embrace, even as my world was shaking. “If he really loves you, he’ll respect how you feel.” More sobs… More rocking… “If he gets mad– he doesn’t really love you.” Rock, rock, sniffle, sniffle.
When she finally lifted her wet poofy face from my now soggy shoulder, tears were running down both our faces as we graced each other with thankful smiles.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
I squeezed her hands, “of course.”
Her eyes were still wet, but they were also brightened with a hopeful resolution. “You’re the best.”
“You better go find him.”
She returned my hand-squeeze and stood up; then with one more big breath, turned and headed for the door and for Kyle.
I was sure they would work it out and would make it through this, and they did. I walked through the muggy air of that night alone and in silence. Once I got back to my cabin, it was my turn to do the sobbing.
If only all teenagers were as mature as you were. This situation would be difficult to handle as a fully-grown adult, much less a teen! How lucky your friend was to have you. Thank you for so perfectly encapsulating the big emotions we feel during our childhood crushes. I like the circularity in your writing coupled with the change in mood: the “warm night air” and “soul-fulls of joy-pollen” turn into the “muggy air” and a feeling of loneliness. You weave in the dialogue beautifully with your thoughtshots, as well! Gorgeous. 🙂
I feel like you could easily keep going with these characters to turn this into a young adult series. Excellent scene and characters!
Holly, I’m hearing the seed of a longer story–a young adult novel, even where two friends work through conflicting, problematic feelings about a boy who needs to learn some boundaries (and will, I think, because he knows two great women who want everyone to grow).
The descriptions of the characters make me feel like I know them, and the dialogue is done well. The “thoughtshots” add so much depth to the piece that I want to know what happens next.
I love how you shared your raw emotions as she was speaking to you. Being a teenager can be very difficult at times, especially when you have a crush on someone. I, too, have experienced this type of scenario during my teenage years. Being strong for someone else can be emotionally exhausting at times. I would love to hear more about Kyle and how he felt when your friend told him that she wanted to stop doing things that she was convicted of during a church service. Also, I wonder about your friendship. Did your friendship withstand this trauma, and are you still friends today?
Great job!