These are three poems I’ve written about dating. My favorite is the middle one–I’m still looking for ways to revise the other two. If you see any spots where you feel confused, please let me know what they are! I can’t change the first letter of each line because they’re acrostics, but I can change up wording/ideas.
Contestant #1: Squirrel Ashes
shyly, i knock on the door
quivering in anticipation
until, of course, you let me in.
images of your past life, your ex-wife
ribbons of tacky paper, fly carcasses hang in the air
regal, a pull-up bar takes center stage
exhaling, i sit on the couch and
linger on each breath of stale air
anointed with an image
sits a box on your mantel
he’s my pet squirrel, well his ashes, you say
expert cremation job; did it myself
silently, i plan my escape
Contestant #2: Hinge Sucks, Boo
how do you feel in the chair across from mine?
i wonder, wishing i could
navigate you as i have myself
get at the hurt you’re guarding, the joy you’ve
efficiently mastered, or
sitting somewhere in the center of your chest
useless
can it be true there’s nothing?
killed off,
silent as the smile that hasn’t quite reached your eyes?
belatedly, a controlled laugh
obscene and adolescent
optimizing my bloated alien words, hoping you will join me
Contestant #3: Mess This Up
melting together on a stiff fabric couch
eyes in a tango (I hate this line. I will be changing it)
slowly, you slide your hand to my lower back
sunset having left us in the quiet
the question: are you still nervous around me?
hesitant between whispered words
i don’t want to mess this up, you say
smiling, your eyes searching mine
unsure yet of our future
palms damp and intertwined
The fact that contestant one is alive and walking this Earth is utterly absurd, but I guess to each their own. I love this piece so much, and I could imagine each of these dates as if I were in the room. Such a great job!
This is brilliant and so much fun to read! Thanks for letting me be a fly on the wall! PS. What a VARIETY!
I absolutely love your poetic style. I need to buy the whole book! I’m obsessed!
Contestant 1 cracked me up. That is actually insane. I LOVE the acrostics and think these are amazing.
I love getting to see the evolution of this! I don’t know if you did it on purpose, but the contestants seem (at least to me) to get less unhinged as you go which is a cool progression. I agree with others that Contestant #1 is absolutely INSANE. I would love to read more of these!